


Wait...What?

by blk0912



Series: Assertions [1]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Barsonoah, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:35:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26055058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blk0912/pseuds/blk0912
Summary: Rafael contemplates leaving the DA's office, but he's worried about how it would affect his friendship with Olivia. As he tries to figure out what to do, he gets some surprising answers in return.
Relationships: Noah Porter Benson & Olivia Benson, Rafael Barba & Noah Porter Benson, Rafael Barba/Olivia Benson
Series: Assertions [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1891414
Comments: 7
Kudos: 48





	Wait...What?

**Author's Note:**

> As per usual, I wasn't *planning* on writing a new story, but it happened. Special thanks to motherbearof3 for helping me with this, to the oofoof for letting me use her idea for Rafael's non-DA's office occupation, and to Sandra for being my Spanish advisor :)
> 
> I am planning a sequel to this, but it's not written yet. This story sets it up, though, and it will be it's own fic. Another special thanks to Sandra for the idea ;)
> 
> Also special thanks to all my fellow Barson fandom people on Twitter. My week didn't start out great, but you all made it better. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy!

Climbing the steps that would lead him to the person who had been a comfort to him since he was a child, Rafael let out a sigh. He felt like his life was spinning out of control and there was so much he was unsure of. He’d been a prosecutor for nearly twenty years, and had thought that’s what he’d be doing for years to come, maybe becoming a judge or running for DA one day. But lately he’d been feeling like there was something else he was supposed to be doing. He just didn’t know what.

“Rafi, _nieto_ , what’s wrong?” Catalina asked when she opened the door, immediately reading the troubled expression on her beloved grandson’s face and ushering him inside the apartment.

“Would you be disappointed if I never became a judge like you dreamed?” he immediately replied.

Sensing that Rafael needed to talk, she took his hand and led him to the couch. Once they had both sat down, she felt him rest his head on her shoulder, just as he’d done so many times in the past. Reaching up, she patted his cheek and then rested her head against his.

“Tell me what’s on your mind, _nieto_.”

Rafael sighed. “I don’t know if I want to be a judge anymore.”

“What is it you want to do, then?”

“I don’t know. We always talked about me becoming a judge someday. I used to enjoy my work as a prosecutor, but I guess I feel like the drive I used to have for it has begun to fade. I love working with Liv and the squad, but these last few cases just…haven’t felt the same. Like my heart wasn’t in it anymore.”

“Maybe you need a break. Take a vacation. At least take your lovely Olivia out on a date.”

“ _Abuelita_ , she’s not mine to take out.”

“She could be.”

“She doesn’t see me that way.”

“¡ _Deja de hablar estupideces! ¡Ella se muere por ti!_

“¡ _Abuelita!_ ” Rafael said in surprise, eliciting a laugh from Catalina.

“Oh, hush, Rafi. You act like this is the first time you’ve heard me say such a thing. _Nieto,_ I can hear in your voice the way you feel about her. From what your mami has told me, I believe that the lovely lady shares your feelings. You two are together more often than not these days, aren’t you?”

Rafael sighed. His grandmother was right. He and Olivia had been spending more time together lately, and not just for work. He’d even watched Noah on his own a few times and was enjoying getting to know the little boy better. Olivia was his best friend and he knew he was in love with her. “We are.”

Catalina patted his leg. “You should tell her how you feel. _You_ should be the one to sweep her off her feet. Talk to her about how you’re feeling about the job, too. I think she will appreciate the honesty. She’s not going to cut you out of her life just because you’re thinking about doing something else, temporarily or permanently.”

“No, she wouldn’t,” Rafael agreed.

As he’d always thought he’d remain a prosecutor until he became a judge or the DA, he never really thought about other areas of law. He wanted to talk to Olivia about it, too.

“Just think about it, _nieto_. You don’t have to make a decision right this minute. Just remember that all I want for you is to be happy. How about I make us some _ropa vieja_ and you can tell me more about my future _nieta y bisnieto_.”

Rafael smiled. Dinner with his _abuelita_ sounded amazing. “ _Perfecto_.”

* * *

A couple of days later, after wrapping up another difficult case, Rafael began to walk back to his office when he felt a hand on his arm. Looking over, he met the concerned brown eyes of his best friend.

“Rafa, are you okay?” she asked.

“Yes and no,” he answered. “I don’t want to talk about it here. Do you need to get home right away?”

“No. Lucy has Noah for the night.”

“Drinks at my place?”

“Sure. I’m just going to call Lucy and check in on Noah.”

“Go ahead. I need to grab some things from my office, so I’ll meet you there.”

Olivia nodded, her concern for her best friend only growing. After quickly checking in with Lucy, who told her Noah had had a good day and was now enjoying one of his favorite meals-macaroni and cheese, she quickly made her way to Rafael’s apartment.

* * *

Once he had gotten Olivia her wine and himself a scotch, Rafael took a seat next to her on the couch. She was sitting sideways so she was facing him, one leg bent in front of her, and he knew without looking that she had that same concerned look in her eyes from earlier.

“Rafa, what’s going on?” she asked, reaching out and laying a hand on his arm.

“I’m going to be taking a leave of absence from the DA’s office.”

Olivia nodded. “I had a feeling something like that was going to happen.”

“You did?”

“Yes. I know what these last few cases have done to you,” Olivia revealed, reaching for his hand and surprising him by lacing their fingers together. “I can live without you at work as long as I don’t lose my best friend.”

“Never,” Rafael promised.

“What are you going to do?”

“I volunteered to take on the immigration case of Juanita Suarez’s brother. After that, I’m not sure.”

Olivia nodded again. She had seen his reaction to the potential deportation of their latest victim’s brother and had a feeling he would end up doing something about it himself. “How long is this leave of absence?”

“Six months. McCoy said that my job would still be there if I want it after the six months is up, or if I decide to come back sooner. I’m sorry, Liv.”

“You don’t need to be sorry, Rafa,” Olivia replied, squeezing the hand she still held. “Just because you want to do something else, either temporarily or permanently, doesn’t mean that I love you any less.”

Rafael’s head shot up at the last part of Olivia’s sentence. He suddenly wasn’t sure if she had actually said the words or they were part of his imagination. “Wait…what?”

Silently cursing herself for giving away her feelings so casually, Olivia set her wine glass on the coffee table and then reached to do the same with his scotch glass. Reaching over, she ran her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck as she gave him a soft smile. “I love you, Rafael.”

“Livia,” Rafael replied, cupping the back of her head and then leaning forward to capture her lips with his. “I love you, too. So much.”

* * *

The next morning, Olivia woke to the sensation of fingers running up and down her arm. Blinking open her eyes, she raised her head and smiled when she met the expressive green eyes of the man who was simultaneously her best friend, her lover, and the love of her life.

“ _Buenos días, mi amor_ ,” he said, leaning in to kiss her.

“Mm. _Buenos días_ ,” she replied between kisses.

After a few more kisses, Rafael posed his question. “Do you have to go get Noah or is Lucy dropping him off at your place?”

“She’s dropping him off around three. Will you come back to my place? Noah would love to see you.”

“Yes, of course. I’d love to see him, too.”

“Spend the weekend with us?” Olivia asked hopefully. “You could stay at my place tonight…”

Rafael kissed her again. “I’d love to, _mi alma_. There’s no place I’d rather be. But what will Noah think?”

Olivia blew out a breath. “I want to be honest with him, Rafa. Tell him that we love each other and we love him, and we’re all going to be spending a lot more time together. He’ll be thrilled.”

“Think he’d let me take you out on a date next weekend?”

“I’m sure he could be convinced,” Olivia replied with a smile. “Maybe Amanda and Sonny could take him for the night and we could come back here?”

“Sounds perfect.”

* * *

“RAFA!”

Turning around at the sound of his name, Rafael only had a moment to brace himself before Noah ran into his legs, wrapping his arms tightly around his waist.

“ _Hola, amigo_ ,” he replied, lifting the boy into his arms and hugging him close.

Olivia pressed a kiss to her son’s head before walking over to Lucy. “Thank you again for taking him last night.”

“We had fun. He was just telling me how he hoped he would be able to see Rafael again soon, too.”

“He’ll be seeing a lot more of him in the future.”

Lucy smiled at her. “I’m sure he’ll be thrilled.”

Olivia laughed. “Whatever gave you that idea?”

* * *

“Did you have fun with Lucy?” Rafael asked as he continued to hold Noah close.

Noah nodded. “We had a movie night and she made me macaroni and cheese for supper.”

“Hmm. I guess you won’t want to have a movie night with me and your mom, then. I was going to order us pizza, too. From that Italian place your mom likes. I’ll have to think of a plan b.”

“No!” Noah insisted with a laugh. “Movie night with pizza! Please, Rafa?”

“Are you sure?”

Noah nodded again. “Yes!”

“What are you two planning over here?” Olivia teased as she walked back over to them.

“Movie night with pizza!” Noah said excitedly. “Please, Mom, can we? Rafa said we could get pizza from that one place you like.”

“He did, huh?”

Noah nodded. “We haven’t had a movie night with Rafa in _forever_. Please, Mom? Please?”

Olivia laughed as she ran her hand over her son’s head. “Of course we can have movie night with Rafa. But we need to talk to you first.”

“Am I in trouble?” Noah asked, looking between the two adults.

“No, sweet boy,” Olivia assured him. “But it _is_ an important talk.”

* * *

After he and Olivia had explained to Noah that their relationship had changed and that they were in love with each other, Rafael was surprised when the boy crawled onto his lap and hugged him tightly.

“I’m glad you’re going to be here more, Rafa,” he said.

“Me, too, _amigo_.”

“We’re still getting pizza and having movie night, right?”

Rafael looked over at Olivia, who smiled and nodded.

“Is your homework finished?” Rafael asked him.

Noah sighed. “I have spelling left and I’m supposed to read with an adult for twenty minutes each night.”

“I'll order the pizza and then we can get started on your homework," Olivia said. 

Noah glanced nervously between the adults. "Can Rafa help me?"

"Are you sure, _amigo_?" Rafael asked.

"Yes."

Rafael glanced over at Olivia to make sure she was okay with it and saw her smiling at him. "Go ahead. I'll order the pizza and then read my own book."

"Go get your backpack and choose a book," Rafael instructed Noah. 

While Noah went to do as Rafael asked, Olivia walked over to him and kissed him. 

"Not that I'm complaining, but what was that for?" Rafael asked.

"Just for being you," Olivia replied before kissing him again. "This feels right-you, me, and Noah."

Rafael nodded. "It does."

"I'm looking forward to many more pizza and movie nights."

"Me, too."

* * *

When Noah didn't return a few minutes later, Rafael went in search of him. He found him in his room, looking at his bookshelf. 

"Do you need help choosing a book?" Rafael asked as he entered the room.

Noah nodded and then looked over at Rafael, who smiled at him as he walked over. 

"Which ones are you thinking about?" he asked.

Noah picked out two books and showed them to Rafael. 

"How about we read one tonight and one tomorrow night?" Rafael suggested. 

"Will you be here again tomorrow night?" Noah asked.

"If that's okay with you."

Noah smiled and nodded. "I like it when you're here."

"Me, too."

"But how do I decide which book to read _tonight_?"

Rafael took the books from the boy and instructed him to close his eyes. After closing his own eyes shuffling the books around a few times so neither he nor Noah would know which book was being chosen, he told him to point to a book.

Opening his eyes, Noah giggled when he saw that Rafael still had his closed. "Rafa, you can open your eyes now."

"Oh, right," Rafael replied, acting like he'd forgotten and eliciting another giggle from Noah. "So, what did we decide on?"

" _The Mouse and the Motorcycle_."

"Good choice, _amigo_. Do you want to read in here or the living room?"

"In here," Noah decided, climbing up on the bed and sitting against the headboard. 

"Am I supposed to read to you or do you read to me?" Rafael asked as he took a seat next to Noah and raised his arm so the boy could lean against his side.

"You read to me. I'm supposed to ask you about any words I don't know."

Rafael nodded, opening the book and beginning to read.

* * *

Once Rafael had finished reading to Noah and helped him with his spelling homework, they both went in search of Olivia. They found her curled up on the couch in the living room, engrossed in her book. All three were startled out of their thoughts by the sound of a knock at the door. 

"I'll get it," Olivia said. "Rafa, can you and Noah grab plates and napkins...and something for each of us to drink?"

"Sure," Rafael agreed. "Come on, _amigo_ , let's get everything we need to enjoy our pizza."

Noah smiled and nodded, following Rafael into the kitchen. 

* * *

“Mom, can we eat at the coffee table?” Noah asked when Olivia returned with the pizza.

“I don’t see why not,” Olivia agreed. “We can start our movie right away, then.”

Noah cheered, taking the plates and napkins Rafael had handed him with him when he ran into the living room.

“I think you just made his night,” Rafael told her, leaning in for a quick kiss.

“Oh, I’m pretty sure seeing _you_ did that, Rafa,” Olivia replied.

Rafael rolled his eyes, but Olivia could see the slight blush on his cheeks. She loved him all the more for it and decided that one of her new goals was to make sure he knew just how much he meant to her and Noah, and to their friends. Her squad was as much his as they were hers, even if he left the DA’s office permanently.

“Mom! Rafa! Hurry _up!_ ” they heard Noah shout from the living room, eliciting laughter from both of them.

“We’re being summoned,” Rafael joked as he picked up the drinks and led Olivia into the living room.

* * *

After they finished their pizza, Rafael, Olivia, and Noah moved to the couch to finish watching their movie. Rafael was surprised when Noah climbed into his lap again, but quickly recovered and cuddled him close. Olivia was cuddled into his side, her head on his shoulder and his arm around her shoulders. The arm that had been around his waist was now around Noah so they could both cuddle with him. By the time the second movie, which Noah had talked them into since it was the weekend, was finished, the little boy was barely able to keep his eyes open. 

“Time for bed, sweet boy,” Olivia told him. “Rafa will be here when you wake up in the morning.”

“Promise?” Noah asked, looking between his mother and Rafael.

“Promise,” Rafael replied, pressing a kiss to his head. “You can help me make pancakes. I hear you’re an _excellent_ sous chef.”

“What’s a sous chef?”

“Kind of like the chef’s assistant,” Olivia explained.

Noah nodded and then turned to hug Rafael. “’Night, Rafa. Love you.”

“ _Buenas noches, amigo_ ,” Rafael replied, his eyes beginning to water a little at the devotion in the little boy’s voice. “Love you, too. _Dulces sueños_.”

* * *

Once she had finished putting Noah to bed, Olivia walked back out to the living room to find that Rafael had cleaned up and had poured her a glass of wine and himself a glass of scotch.

“Found the scotch, huh?” she teased as she sat down on the couch next to him.

Rafael chuckled. “Wasn’t difficult. I know where you keep it.”

“Think you know all of my secrets, do you?”

“Most of them,” Rafael replied with a tilt of his head.

“You sound pretty sure if yourself, counselor,” Olivia said, her eyes sparkling with humor.

“Only when I’m with you, lieutenant.”

Noting the bit of seriousness in Rafael’s tone, Olivia reached over and cupped his face in her free hand before leaning over to kiss him softly.

“I believe in you, Rafa,” she said, resting her forehead against his. “You’ll always be my best friend.”

“Ditto.”

* * *

****one year later****

“Dad!”

Rafael heard his son before he saw him, which meant he had time to quickly set his bag down and prepare himself for his arrival. This was routine for them, so he easily caught the boy up in his arms and hugged him tightly.

“ _Mijo_ ,” he said, pressing a kiss to the boy’s head. “Did you have a good day?”

Noah nodded. “Lucy took me to the zoo, and then Aunt Amanda and Jesse came over to play while you and Mom were at work. Is she coming home soon?”

Rafael chuckled and pressed another kiss to his son’s head. “She should be home soon. She was going to stop and pick up pizza for our movie night.”

Noah tilted his head in almost perfect imitation of his father. “But movie night isn’t until _tomorrow_.”

“Mom and I are going out tomorrow night, remember? So we’re having movie night tonight. You are going to _Abuelita_ ’s for a sleepover. Mom and I will meet you there for brunch on Sunday and then we’ll all go home together.”

“Can we go to the park on Sunday after brunch?”

“I don’t see why not. We’ll talk to Mom about it when she gets home.”

“Can we play Lego until she gets here?”

“Sure,” Rafael said as he set Noah on his feet. “You get started and I’ll join you in a few minutes. I want to talk to Aunt Amanda first.”

Noah nodded, doing as his father instructed.

“How was he?” Rafael asked Amanda as she helped Jesse put her coat on.

“Good,” Amanda replied. “He and Jesse had fun together. Eddie is in jail again, though.”

Rafael chuckled. “For what this time?”

“He stole all the ice cream again. I guess he hasn’t learned his lesson.”

“I guess not. Thanks, again, for watching him.”

“It’s never a problem, you know that. Besides, Liv volunteered to take her next weekend so Sonny and I can go out.”

“She did?”

Amanda laughed. “I take it she didn’t tell you?”

“No. Not that I remember.”

“She _has_ been keeping you pretty busy.”

“She’s good at that,” Rafael replied with a laugh.

Amanda patted his arm. “We all know you’re completely gone on her and she uses that to her advantage.”

Rafael tilted his head in agreement. “I’d like to think the feeling is mutual, though.”

“Oh, it is,” Amanda told him as she put on her own coat. “Ya’ll are adorable, making heart eyes at each other across the squad room.”

“I do _not_ make heart eyes, detective.”

Amanda laughed. “Whatever you say, counselor.”

* * *

Later that night, after Noah was asleep, Rafael and Olivia relaxed together on the couch. He was playing with the ends of her hair and she was playing with the fingers of his other hand as they talked.

“So apparently we make heart eyes at each other from across the squad room,” Rafael told her.

Olivia laughed. “Who told you that?”

“Amanda.”

“As if she and Sonny are any better,” Olivia said with a roll of her eyes.

“She also said we’re taking Jesse next Saturday so that she and Sonny can go out.”

“I thought I told you about that?”

Rafael shrugged. “I don’t remember. This is the busiest I’ve been since I came back to the DA’s office, so it’s entirely possible.”

Olivia raised an eyebrow at him. “Well, that was to be expected when McCoy promoted you to Chief ADA, wasn’t it?”

Rafael smirked at her. “I suppose.”

Olivia released his hand to lightly hit him on the arm. “You’re impossible.”

“You love me anyway.”

Olivia leaned over to capture his lips with hers. “Always and in _all_ ways.”

Rafael kissed her again. “Mm. Does this mean you’ll say yes if I ask you to marry me?”

“Wait…what?” Olivia asked, pulling back as she tried to comprehend what her boyfriend had just said.

“I said…does this mean you’ll say yes if I ask you to marry me?” Rafael repeated as he pulled a ring box out of his pocket and turning it towards her as he opened it. “This was my _abuelita_ ’s ring. I want you to have it. I want to marry you and spend the rest of our lives together. I love you, Livia, always and in _all_ ways.”

Olivia nodded tearfully. “Yes, Rafa. Yes to everything.”

Rafael smiled as he took the ring out of the box and slid it onto her finger.

“Did you have it sized?” she asked as she admired the ring.

“No. It looks like I won’t need to. It fits perfectly. It was meant to be yours, Livia.”

Olivia cupped his face in her hands and pressed her lips to his. “I love you.”

“Do you?” Rafael teased against her lips.

Olivia kissed him again, deeper this time, before abruptly breaking the kiss and standing. Grabbing his hand, she tugged him to his feet and began to lead him down the hall to their room.

“What are you doing?” Rafael asked with a laugh.

“I think it’s been far too long since we’ve _shown_ each other how much we love each other. Heart eyes across the squad room aren’t enough, _mi amor_.”

Rafael smirked as he closed and locked the door. “Show me, _mi alma_.”

**Author's Note:**

> (Some/New) Translations:  
> Deja de hablar estupideces: Stop saying stupid things  
> Ella se muere por ti: she would die for you  
> bisnieto: great-grandson  
> perfecto: perfect


End file.
